well its been a while and a lot of things have happened..there are good and bad things of course more bad or life just wouldnt be normal...ive lost a lot of friends this year which hasnt happened in like two years but for some reason this ones different..this one hurt a lot more than others i lost another best friend almost two but i finally got him to talk to me as for the other idk im pretty sure he hates me nowand yet sometimes i think about him and feel like maybe he wants to reach out to me...ive been thinkin a lot more since our band trip to california and i almost fell out of a ride at over a hundred feet in the air so ive been thikin about a ton of my life... i still have a best friend and i'm trying to cling to them before i lose anyone else...sometimes i think i bug him sometimes i wonder about a lot but maybe if i can get my thots together maybe itll make sense....theres olnly one who knows and i'm prettty sure He knows what He's doin i just wish i did too